Building a Life Beyond History's Shadows
“Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else.”
-Shunryu Suzuki Roshi
You have a history, which almost guarantees that you have a complex.
A complex, from a Depth Psychology frame, refers to an unconscious emotional pattern rooted in past experiences, often from childhood. These patterns influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, acting as unseen forces that can shape how individuals respond to the world around them.
Most complexes come in two dominant ways: Abandonment or Overwhelm.
In the case of Charti Sityodtong, the CEO of ONE Championship, he experienced textbook abandonment when his father disappeared from his life at an early age.
People with abandonment wounds sometimes use achievement as a way to cope with their underlying fears and insecurities. By excelling in academics, careers, or other pursuits, they often seek validation and a sense of worthiness. This drive for success can stem from a desire to prove their value and avoid rejection or feelings of inadequacy.
It's not that surprising that Chatri has built one of the most successful martial arts brands on the planet. The brand has a 70% finish rate, meaning 7 out of 10 fights finish in a knockout or submission (Ferris & Sityodtong, 2025). That is a stat that no other combat sport brand comes close to touching.
But underneath all of the drive, success, and accomplishment, he still wanted resolution.
Years later, Chatri reunited with his father and asked him, "Why did you leave us?" The father replied, "After my business went bankrupt, I could not face myself, and the shame was too great. It was easier for me to disappear."
A few years later, Chatri's father passed away.
After the passing of his father, he reimagined himself larger than his past by absorbing the polarities and accepting the paradox of life when he sprinkled his ashes into the ocean . While he was resentful and angry with his father, he also realized that it was his father who introduced me to Muay Thai, which, unknown to Chatri at the time, would later be the bedrock of his professional life.
Like Chatri, you have a task. It is to reimagine yourself larger than your history. This journey will not reveal itself in totality; you will only get fragments along the way, and that is all you need to take the next wisest step in your path.